REAL MADRID WANT KOSCIELNY
Oh Daily Star, you really are treating us. Not to be outdone by their illustrious peers, the paper is claiming that Real Madrid could target Arsenal central defender Laurent Koscielny this summer.
They believe that Rafael Benitez has already drawn up a list of transfer targets for this summer, pending his appointment as the replacement for Carlo Ancelotti. Koscielny is apparently towards the top of that list.
They also claim that Arsene Wenger could use the Frenchman as bait to land Karim Benzema. Can't see it.
CHELSEA TO BID FOR POGBA
Ah the Daily Express, never knowingly missing out on the chance to claim the inside track on a major deal that will definitely happen. You might as well get used to them talking about Paul Pogba this summer.
'Chelsea to bid £57m for Manchester United target and Juventus star Paul Pogba,' is their headline. We're pretty sure that United aren't going to be targeting him, but fine.
Their claims come from Italian newspaper La Stampa, but we can't find any mention of that fee by them in the last four days. Surely the Express haven't used an old story and put a sexy little outfit on it to sell it again?
JUVE WANT €40M FOR VIDAL
Talking of stores that will run and bloody run reminds us of Arturo Vidal. Remember all the 'Welcome King Arturo' b**locks?
According to reports in Italy, should Arsenal bid €40m this summer, Juventus will be prepared to sell the Chilean midfielder. Well of course they bloody will, at that price.
Calciomercato claim that Vidal's agent Fernando Felicevich was at Wembley to discuss Vidal with Arsenal, but we reckon he was probably more likely to be watching Alexis Sanchez (also his client) playing. Sue us for our cynicism.
Gazzetta Dello Sport, meanhwhile, claim that Felicevich is aiming to talk to both Arsenal and Manchester United over a possible summer move for Vidal. It's just never going to happen, folks.
LACAZETTE TO LIVERPOOL? PFFT
Any thoughts Liverpool may have had over signing Lyon striker Alexandre Lacazette (presumable nicknamed 'The French mix tape?') can disappear right now.
That's according to Lyon's president Jean Michel Aulas, anyway. He has poured l'eau froid on rumours that Brendan Rodgers could try and bring the forward to Anfield. 'Why would he want to move?' is the reasonable question posed by Aulas.
'Your information is false,' Aulas said on them Twitters. 'Liverpool have not called and what European cup are they playing in? They have neither the means nor the interest.'
Oh dear, well that's a big burn for Liverpool. Still they're getting Danny Ings, so joke is on Lyon really.
UNITED MAKE BACCA BID
The next rumour comes from those bastions of transfer accuracy The Metro. They claim that Manchester United have made a bid for Colombia striker Carlos Bacca. The last Colombian striker worked out pretty well, anyway.
The Metro use Fichajes.net to corroborate the story. Because of course they bloody do.
'The truth is that Colombia has on the table a very interesting Manchester United club offer that is looking for a front guarantees to ensure a good amount of goals at the end of the season,' Google translate tells us. Who are we to argue?
It should be said that two paragraphs after using 'reportedly', the Metro are happily telling us that Louis van Gaal 'has demanded that completing the deal becomes a priority'. Hmmm.
COSTA UNHAPPY IN ENGLAND?
An odd one now, with Marca making strong claims that Diego Costa is unhappy with life in England and is eyeing a move back to Spain.
Costa's first season in England was a roaring success, the striker scoring 20 goals in 26 league games. However, his muscle problems continued to hamper him, particularly towards the end of the season.
Marca now claim that Costa would prefer a move back to Atleti to be reunited with Diego Simeone. Sorry, but we're going to call bulls**t on this one.
UNITED TO HIJACK SCHNEIDERLIN MOVE
It's a story to make wantaway Southampton midfielder Morgan Schneiderlin very happy indeed. The Daily Mirror report that Manchester United will try to hijack Arsenal's move for the Frenchman. Schneiderlin's ambition for Champions League football looks to be going well.
Schneiderlin is valued at around £25m, but Louis van Gaal has made no secret of his desire to find a suitable replacement/back-up for Michael Carrick in midfield. The Frenchman ticks most of the boxes.
The player himself has also not kept many secrets. "I think my decision is made," he said last week. "The Champions League is my goal and if I leave Southampton it will be for a club in the Champions League."
Fight, fight, fight.
CHELSEA IN TALKS WITH FALCAO
More news from the Daily Mirror now, who claim that Radamel Falcao is in talks with Chelsea over a move. A loan deal at Manchester United worked out dreadfully, but Jose Mourinho must think he can get an awful lot more out of the forward.
This isn't the first time that the Falcao to Chelsea rumour has surfaced. The fact that both the Colombian and Mourinho share an agent in Jorge Mendes is surely at least part of the reason for that link, and we're still unconvinced.
The Mirror's evidence for the move is that Chelsea would prefer a loan deal for a striker, thus leaving them funds to bolster their team elsewhere. They name Antoine Griezmann and Koke as the two main targets. Because if there is one problem with Chelsea's squad, it's a lack of attacking midfielders.
INGS AND MARSHALL IN AT ANFIELD
Liverpool's bid to get back into the top four continues apace with the signing of Danny Ings and David Marshall. Stop laughing at the back.
The Liverpool Echo reports that Liverpool will open talks with Ings this week, whose Burnley contract is set to expire this summer. The fee will be decided by tribunal, which you all already knew by now.
Interest from Tottenham in Ings has been well publicised, but the striker is thought to favour a move to Anfield. Presumably he thinks he might start every week.
Elsewhere, WalesOnline report rumours of a bid from Liverpool for Cardiff City goalkeeper David Marshall in order to put pressure on Simon Mignolet. Marshall has been repeatedly linked with a move away from the Championship club, but is now 30.
Apparently Marshall would cost in the region of £5m, and Liverpool's other goalkeeper targets have chosen to move elsewhere. Forgive us for being entirely underwhelmed.
AND THE REST
Chelsea are keen on Southampton defender Toby Alderweireld, who spent last season on loan at St Mary's from Atletico Madrid...Aston Villa are set for a fresh move for Bournemouth striker Callum Wilson, 23, as a potential replacement for Christian Benteke...Spanish side Athletic Bilbao have targeted Arsenal's 28-year-old left-back Nacho Monreal...Manchester City's Under-21s coach Patrick Vieira is set for an interview for the Newcastle United job and says: "I really know which kind of manager I want to be"...Aston Villa boss Tim Sherwood has stated several players at the club have no future at Villa Park...Hugo Lloris does not want to leave Tottenham this summer, according to manager Mauricio Pochettino...Aston Villa will offer Christian Benteke a club record-breaking £15m deal to sign a new contract with Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester all interested in the Belgian striker.
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